‘Cray'
- a short word that is
used all too frequently today: shared between friends to describe a jealous ex,
overheard on the tube in anticipation of the night ahead and adopted to
describe the drunken antics of the night before. Yet rarely do the subjects consider
the actual derivative, the sour syllables that still resonate with me today...
‘Crazy’
We seldom take a step back and reflect on the
connotations of that word. For me, craziness brings allure and entrapment with
it. It's a paradoxical world that is both enticing and excruciating. It's the
awareness that you’re entering a dark place but being completely
helpless. It's akin to a mosquito bite that you simply cannot resist; you itch,
safe with the knowledge that it’s detrimental to your health but slave to that
short-term fix.
Deep in your
subconscious, you know the outcome will be those cold hospital corridors, but,
somehow, the satisfaction in that oasis of time feels like it’s all worth it.
Afterwards, in the weeks, months, years that follow you wonder why you ever put
your mind through such an ordeal. The medication sucks away both your energy
and creativity but also creates a clutch on which you can re-stabilise
yourself. The very thing that supports you is also the object of your
resentment (rather like teenage attitudes towards parents!)
This blog will be a
taster of how that time has been for me. Recovery is a funny old process but
also incredibly rewarding as you simultaneously learn about your fears,
limitations and capabilities. Something I often remind myself of is:
'Happiness is a means of
travel, not a destination.'
So this blogging
experience should be a gratifying journey for me. Along the way, I hope you
enjoy my words and also learn something about the mental health field. For an
issue that is becoming increasingly common in our current society, it is still
unfortunately being treated with much skepticism.
Have a cray day!
Gnarls Barkley ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bd2B6SjMh_w
Kate Leaver personal story ~ https://www.the-pool.com/health/mind/2015/40/i-want-to-talk-about-my-bipolar-disorder
~~~
Gnarls Barkley ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bd2B6SjMh_w
Kate Leaver personal story ~ https://www.the-pool.com/health/mind/2015/40/i-want-to-talk-about-my-bipolar-disorder
