Let's Define 'Cray'

  

 ‘Cray' 

- a short word that is used all too frequently today: shared between friends to describe a jealous ex, overheard on the tube in anticipation of the night ahead and adopted to describe the drunken antics of the night before. Yet rarely do the subjects consider the actual derivative, the sour syllables that still resonate with me today...

‘Crazy’

We seldom take a step back and reflect on the connotations of that word. For me, craziness brings allure and entrapment with it. It's a paradoxical world that is both enticing and excruciating. It's the awareness that you’re entering a dark place but being completely helpless. It's akin to a mosquito bite that you simply cannot resist; you itch, safe with the knowledge that it’s detrimental to your health but slave to that short-term fix.

Deep in your subconscious, you know the outcome will be those cold hospital corridors, but, somehow, the satisfaction in that oasis of time feels like it’s all worth it. Afterwards, in the weeks, months, years that follow you wonder why you ever put your mind through such an ordeal. The medication sucks away both your energy and creativity but also creates a clutch on which you can re-stabilise yourself. The very thing that supports you is also the object of your resentment (rather like teenage attitudes towards parents!)

This blog will be a taster of how that time has been for me. Recovery is a funny old process but also incredibly rewarding as you simultaneously learn about your fears, limitations and capabilities. Something I often remind myself of is:

'Happiness is a means of travel, not a destination.'

  

So this blogging experience should be a gratifying journey for me. Along the way, I hope you enjoy my words and also learn something about the mental health field. For an issue that is becoming increasingly common in our current society, it is still unfortunately being treated with much skepticism. 

Have a cray day! 

~~~

Gnarls Barkley ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bd2B6SjMh_w

Kate Leaver personal story ~ https://www.the-pool.com/health/mind/2015/40/i-want-to-talk-about-my-bipolar-disorder